BULLETIN JUNE 2009

LAST BULLETIN:
I can't imagine what possessed me to glibly tell everyone I was about to write a paper on DIY Mediation. We suddenly had a dozen or more requests for it, and I had managed to lose the material I had planned to use. I started from scratch and spent rather more time on it than anticipated, but it's now available and probably better than it would have been, certainly it's more comprehensive. E-mail Kathy if you want a copy. In my same item I was highly critical of a children's charity that had got into difficulties and lost a lot of money. I used the word 'disgraceful' which was rather judgemental of me. One of the former trustees sent me a lengthy explanation. Their mistake was perhaps to be a bit too trusting. Well I do that all the time and probably always will. Better that than being too cynical, but do take care who you trust, and put some simple controls in place.

TRIBUNAL ENQUIRIES:
The DTI tells us that a disproportionately high number of claims come from employees of charities. Enquiries from charity employees are also disproportionately higher in areas as diverse as race, sex and age discrimination. Apparently one of the key factors is the close control of a founder. I can bear that out from our experience. If you treat your staff badly (or without having appropriate procedures in place) it can cause immense damage to your reputation with the attendant financial implications. On the other hand this is a time to take very great care of your staff and team; they are usually your most important assets. Prevention's better than cure. www.acas.org.uk is a good site to check out. Or contact our own specialist, Nathalie Thompson. (Thanks to Andrew Hind, Chief Executive, Charity Commission for much of this material)

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNIFICANT PRESENCE IN SCOTLAND?
Charities that do must register with OSCR. There are still charities that haven't met the deadline to register and OSCR say they will be taking active steps to ensure compliance (do you operate from premises in Scotland, for example?) There are small but significant differences in the law up there that mean changes will be required to your governing document, but it's easily done. It'll cost a bit, but not much. Contact us for a quote.

MERGER REGISTER:
The Charity Commission set up a register of mergers to try to make sure that charities that merged didn't miss out on any legacies. There is a lack of confidence in this arrangement and until it is sorted out properly best advice is to keep the merged charity open even in its wound down state. Contact me if you need any specific guidance particularly if you are thinking of merging with another charity.

INSURANCE ON VOLUNTEERS GOING ABROAD:
This is an odd one. Apparently, volunteers going abroad on behalf of some small and medium charities are expected to find their own insurance cover. This can easily happen when there is a humanitarian disaster and events are moving quickly. Any charity involved in this sort of situation should have procedures in place to ensure that volunteers going abroad are given a health check, a briefing on risk, an explanation of the charity's responsibilities, and appropriate insurance should be provided.

CHURCH WATER BILLS:
This has been a big problem and recently a petition was set up on the government website. Donovan Brown took me to www.number10.gov.uk/page19160 to view the response which was encouraging. It's worth keeping an eye on these petitions. I signed a couple of petitions whilst I was there.

SETH'S BLOG:
I don't get many blogs, but this one is always worth a look. Recently he said this: 'First rule of decision making: more time does not create better decisions. In fact it usually decreases the quality of decisions. More information may help. More time without more information creates anxiety not insight. Deciding now frees up your most valuable asset, time, so you can go and work on something else. So, from today, make every decision as soon as you have a reasonable amount of information.' Go and discuss this amongst yourselves. (Seth's blog can be found at: sethgodin.typepad.com)

BEHIND WITH YOUR YEAR END ACCOUNTS?
We are working with charities that are years behind with their accounts but need to get them up to date as part of the Charity Commission registration process. If you need any help getting your accounts together we have a fast, friendly, affordable service to resolve your problems.

CHARITY ACCOUNTS TRAINING:
Enquiries are coming in about the course I wrote for Independent Examiners. I have set aside Wednesday October 14th to run this training. Accountants who want to brush up on charity accounts and charity treasurers and book-keepers who want to deepen their understanding will find it helpful. Part 1 focuses on all aspects of charity accounts from an overview of charities right through to preparing year end accounts. Part 2 is the 12 step process of carrying out an Independent Examination. If you are interested, contact Kathy for more details. It'll be a long day.

AND FINALLY (Go to part 2 if you don't like dogs)........

We have a dog, a Jack Russell, a submissive animal, but obedient only when it suits her. She likes to scavenge for food and pretend we neglect her. Recently she got ill and we had to give her tablets. Here are some tips to help you give your dog a pill:

1. Grasp dog firmly in your arms, cradle its head on your elbow, just like giving a baby a bottle. Coo gently and confidently, 'Good doggy', drop pill into its mouth.

2. Retrieve dog from behind settee and pill from under settee.

3. Follow same procedure but hold dog's front paws down with left hand and back paws with elbow of right hand, poke pill into mouth with right forefinger.

4. Retrieve dog from under bed. Get new pill from bottle.

5. Again proceed as above, but this time when you have dog firmly cradled in bottle feeding position sit on the edge of a chair, fold your torso over dog, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open dog's moth by lifting upper jaw and pop the pill in quickly. Since your head is down by your knees your vision will be somewhat restricted, which is probably a good thing. 6. Leave the dog stuck in the cat-flap, leave the pill in your hair. If you are a woman, have a good cry. If you are a man, have a good cry (but try not to let anyone see).

7. Now, pull yourself together, after all you are the pack leader. Go back to step five and say firmly, 'Who is the boss around here?' and repeat the process. By now the dog is cowering defiantly in the bathroom and baring her teeth. So have a think. Ah, it's the claws that are causing the chaos.

8. Crawl to airing cupboard, get a large beach towel, spread towel on floor. Retrieve dog and spread it on towel with its head over the long edge. Flatten its front and back legs over its tummy (resisting impulse to flatten dog), roll dog in towel, working fast, with left hand press its mouth at the jaw hinges so jaw opens like petals of a snapdragon. Drop pill into mouth and poke gently.

9. Vacuum through and wash down all surfaces, apply bandages to wounds (yours, the dog can suffer), take 2 aspirin with whisky and lie down.

Steve, our pastor likes to start his messages with a joke. These are for him:

Bella (aged 6) asked her Grandma how old she was. Grandma replied she was so old she couldn't remember. Bella said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your knickers; mine say 6 to 7."

Bella was eating out with us when she noticed a young couple engrossed in each other, hugging and kissing. She asked us, 'why is he whispering in her mouth?'

A while ago we were telling her a Bible story and we read, 'the man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and got turned into a pillar of salt. Concerned, she asked, 'What happened to the flea?'

Recently the visiting speaker raised his arms to pray. He began by saying, 'Without you Lord, we are but dust'. As he paused for effect young Bella, who was listening carefully said, 'Mummy, what is butt dust'.

(Thanks to Roland for this and others I will save for later, once again you came up trumps)